Fickle // Fruition

I am so indecisive. It was yesterday when I decided that I had to say it. Then I saw some things and decided that I should let go. But still, that doesn't ease how badly I want to know more about you two. 

But why make things difficult for others and yourself?

"If it's meant to be, it will be."

I once had so much faith in this. But now, I no longer believe entirely in fate. I believe we are the creators of our own fates. Some things may happen if you keep waiting, but things are bound to happen if you do something (it may not be the desired outcome but at least the outcome comes faster). So why the passiveness? Especially when patience is not my forte.

But then this came into my head.

"Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you."

I confess that all my life (till now), I've been closer to despicable than ethical. Out of selfishness, I'd probably do many things to achieve my goal. And it's not like I don't know what I was doing is bad, I just can't be bothered about the impacts of my actions on the others.

I don't know what made me feel like this this time - I feel like I shouldn't be like my old self anymore. Perhaps subconsciously, my 2014 is that excellent reminder that karma bites back. And really, I don't wish to be related to anything bad anymore. Just want to live a simple life that I can be proud of myself, as a person.

For that, I'll not try not to harbour any thoughts of trying to get you back anymore. I'll leave it to fate for now. And if fate makes situation favourable for me, I'm taking over control.